Saturday, February 22, 2014

January and February






The first month of the year came and went in the blink of an eye. So many changes and new routines. Rafael began going to daycare two mornings a week and is getting settled in. I started waking up while it was still dark and the icy streets were empty to jog with the dogs. My husband's work year started up once again. Things felt fresh and full of good intentions.

My birthday was celebrated with a small but spectacular chocolate cake. I asked my husband to bring home flowers to decorate it, and he brought a big bouquet of roses. I ended up putting them in a vase and only using a cloud of baby breath on top of the frosting. I loved the simple look, paired with tall, thin candles. Friends and family came for the afternoon, it was a noisy bunch, toddlers running in and out of rooms, laughter and conversation. A friend made me a lovely little paintbrush organizer. My husband gave me a new wide lens for my camera. 

A couple of weeks ago Rafael got sick and I spent one of those terrible weeks stuck indoors with him. We watched lots of dvds, read hundreds of books, rolled out play-doh and lay out train tracks. He got amazingly good at doing puzzles. There were of course nice moments, but I have to admit that when he is sick I get depressed and my nerves are frazzled. Our whole rhythm is destroyed, and we are trapped inside these rooms with no break for days on end. I dream of going back to our regular daily routine, meeting with friends, going into the woods, even just going to the grocery store. In the end Rafael always seems a bit taller, and wiser. And I always think, "Why can't I just be more patient and serene?" 

Lately, when I get angry, and then Rafael and I make up again, he asks, "Are we best friends again?" And I melt and say, "Of course, we are always best friends, even when I'm angry." 

In my spare time I have been organizing my photographs and designing a logo and blog for my future small photography business. I will be offering child, family, and adult portraits. I'm feeling excited, mixed with fear and insecurity....can I do this? Will I be good at this? Will customers be satisfied? Am I capable of making smart business decisions? I try to put these questions in the back of my mind and don't let them slow me down.

Another important thing going on in my life right now is that, 11 days ago, I began Jamie Eason's LiveFit 12 week trainer program, and I'm already seeing and feeling results. It's mostly a mental challenge for me, sticking to the diet and getting my exhausted self to the gym. But the positive benefits are keeping me motivated. I don't want to look at old photos of the great figure I used to have with a sad feeling anymore...I want to look in the mirror and feel great about what I see. I also want to prove to myself that I can do this. It's not easy...if it was easy, everyone would do it. Sometimes I think, "What am I doing? Every-day-stuff is hard enough without adding all this meal preparation and training to the picture. Who cares if I'm out of shape. I'm a mom." My body is much stronger than my mind. My body if capable of so much. It's my mind that causes problems! I can't tell you how often I go on Instagram and look at motivating photos of fit moms, just to get myself to put on my gym clothes and go there. 

So that's what's been going on around here. I hope to blog again soon!

xoxoxo

21 comments:

  1. good to see you here!

    The photos (as always) are so lovely. You have a good eye. Trust your gift.

    As for fitness, as long as you are doing it for you -- comparison is deadly for moms (that is my humble opinion, anyway). Life is meant to be enjoyed. I'm sure you can do this, achieve this goal, if you set your mind to it.

    But as a mom who has children who are 30 and older (!!) I would urge you to do what brings you joy - that always gets passed along to the family :-)

    It's just great to see you blogging. thanks!

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  2. it's always wonderful to see a post from you! good to know your new year is progressing well! i think you will be a wonderful photographer! you already are! your photos are such an inspiration to me. love, love, love your new banner, btw.

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  3. I have not exactly started a business, but have made and sold greeting cards with my photographs on them, sold framed and unframed photographs, and displayed some at a local and popular bakery. I am not sure how easy it is to take photographs of children as they tend to move so much and seem to get whiney at the wrong times. I wish you luck and am eager to hear more.

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  4. It's wonderful to hear from you, Dawn! I've really missed your posts, but then it sounds as though you've been quite busy organizing your new business venture, adding a new diet and gym routine to your schedule, and of course, keeping up with a very active 2 1/2 year old Rafael. Your birthday cake looks luscious!! Wish I could have a slice! Will look forward to more of your posts!
    xxxJudy in So. California

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  5. Oh Dawn..you are amazing! (Happy late Birthday by the way!) You are such a gifted photographer...never doubt yourself!

    Blessings and hugs to you and Rafael!
    Gert

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  6. Happy to see a post and get caught up!! As I get older, I'm realizing if you want to chase a dream you just have to go for it!! As I did, I started a little photography gig on the side and have had the best fun, I've gotten several bookings with more already booked for this summer! I started a FB page, which really helped and I offer my landscape prints for sale, just sold 2 this week! Check me out: Shots by Sue
    I know you will do just fine, just enjoy the fun!

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  7. Hey, good to finally hear from you...was beginning to worry. Sounds like a lot has happened recently. As always it is a joy to catch up. And you go with the exercise girl! Can't wait to see the blog about photography too! Great idea! ;) xxx

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  8. love to see a new blog from you, i missed it badly ;) <3 lovely as always, and stay strong <3 you're beautiful and a happy, joyful person - we all appreciate that! i hope to see you again soon - xoxoxoxoxo Birdy

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  9. Hi Dawn, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
    http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.ca/

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  10. Miss hearing from you! I hope you are doing well!

    Raquel

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  11. I don't know if you'll see this, Dawn, but I miss hearing from you! I hope all is well with you and your family, and that you'll have time soon to come back to your blog! You have so much talent, Dawn....with your amazing photos, and your perfect way with words and insights in sharing your life experiences. Sending love and good wishes for all to be well with you. Judy in California xxxxx

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    Replies
    1. Amen and ditto to what Judy says!! Hugs, Susan

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  12. Thinking about you, Dawn, and hoping someday....soon....you'll be able to come back to your blog. I'm sure all of your followers really miss you! I do.
    xxxJudy in California

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  13. Why are you ignoring everyone's inquiries? There are so many who enjoy your blog, miss you, and are concerned.

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  15. Diedra in Durham, North CarolinaJuly 31, 2014 at 3:56 PM

    Hi Dawn -- I think I've only posted on your blog once before -- but, once I found it, I had to go back and read all your posts! You have a gift, and you do touch the world, you bless and edify and touch all of us. I hope you and your family are okay. I will say a prayer for you. I miss your posts.

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  16. Hi Dawn. Here's another follower who misses you and hopes you're okay. I admit though, it's partly for selfish reasons: I'm a sad woman these days. I'm stuck in a concrete and glass city, where I know not a soul, watching the last of my 30s pass me by and feeling more heartbroken every day that I don't have kids. To live in a forest with a family, doing what you love...I live vicariously through you, and your photos really make me smile. I know nobody's life is perfect but yours gives me a little bit of hope, and right now, what I'm hoping is that you are okay. Truly.

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  18. Hi Dawn! Where are you? We all miss you and wander if you and your family are allright.....Let us know please that everything is fine!
    Carla

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